Rant on Pittsburgh Penguins

For the people that don't know the Pittsburgh Penguins, They are an NHL team currently playing in the Stanly cup playoffs. Many people don't know much about this city and just the other day I was talking to someone and that person didn't know if Pittsburgh was a state or a city. I wont say any names, OK it was Danielle, but I can't blame her because Pittsburgh is a useless, unimportant city that doesn't matter. Their hockey team is led by a young boy "Sid the kid" who is clearly struggling to grow a manly play-off beard and instead it's more of perv-stache chin strap. Crosby's unfortunate facial hair is well know around the NHL as well as the sporting world. Also Pittsburgh's coaching methods are questionable as they scratched their assistant captain, Gary Roberts.
The Penguins have stumbled into the Finals buy lucking out against the Senators who beat themselves, the Rangers, and the Fliers who should have lost in the first round to the Capitals. If the Capitals won in the very controversial series they would've played Pittsburgh and most likely crushed them. The Caps would've been led by Alexander Ovechkin (a real man who can grow a real beard). Crosby would have been out played and overpowered by Ovechkin. This is coming from the expert analysis from Evan Frymire the same person who said "Ovechkin will own Crosby in their rookie years and Oveckin will win the Calder Trophy"
Now that the Penguins are playing a real hockey team, the Detroit Red Wings, they are getting manhandled and it took them well over 130 minutes to score their first goal. they also finally won their first game and led by their
fearless leader who banged in two goals from the goal line. Over the next two games Datsyuk, Zetterburg and the rest of the wings will continue the sodomization and win the cup at home in five.

Top 3

Top 3 most ridiculous things Danielle has said

The criteria for the rankings of these sayings are
-lack of thought processing
-Not thinking before speaking
-Not paying attention
-The degree of seriosness
-How unintelligent she sounded
-Overall presentation


HONERABLE MENTIONS

Vandilizing a disabled persons car with ketchup and mustard
(ignoranse is not a deffence)

Mr. Hogg "so if the net force is zero what happens"
Danielle "They attract" (not even close)
Mr. Hogg "they cancel out"

"isn't pittsburgh a state"


1) In grade 6 she was asked to pick a number between 1 and 50. She thought for a few seconds and said "ummm 75". The ummm suggested that she was thinking hard about the question and said 75 like it was a serius answer. She (hopefuly) was not paying attention and only overheard "pick a number".

2) In math 12 we were doing graphing and we needed to find quarter sections to find co-ordinates. In the example Mr Killick gave us he used a length of 4. Im sure he used 4 because it was the easiest possible number to find the quarter section.
when we started to do it Danielle quickly asked "what is the quarter section of 4" Mr. killick quickly responded "I'l go check my calculater" sarcastically. Quarter sections were a new concept at the time but the question could be solved by using a small amount of logic.

3) "You need to replace your whole windshield" this is funny because it is impossible to replace half or any section of a windshield.